okay. segue. cue in introduction. "boylet" is the guy. probably my bestest friend at the moment (or has been for some time now) we are in this "relationship" which i refer to inside quotation marks. for somebody with this humongous fear of commitment, i think i'm doing quite well considering we have been in "this" for more than a year. but true to the nature of my handicap, i never acknowledge the fact that i am "in a relationship" on social networks (which i personally think is outright admittance of whatever-hell-hole-you're-in), petty as it seems. my friends never know what to call him since i never referred to him as a "boyfriend" which i think is branding and qualifying. as understanding as he seems to this abnormality, he has taken his rightful place into my world as somebody who has filled in the position but with no title.
back to what i was saying... being impulsive is fun and scary at the same time. i know i have bouts of stupidity and God knows how often i do, but i go on making these random decisions that have actually shaped my shapeless life. years ago, because of a broken heart, i enrolled myself in post graduate studies since i didnt know what to do next. fortunately the two ana half years went by quickly and because of another epic painful experience (which i will not elaborate here) i took a leap of faith and applied for a job that i wasn't qualified for, nor had any interest in... but miracles of all miracles... i got accepted... was even appointed to be "PERMANENT" which caused anxiety (and anemia) to scared and poor commitment phobic me. now... four years into this "out of the closet" relationship with my job... i feel that i am in shackles. forced into marriage. bonded. i want out. no... really... i want out. but i get custody of the boylet... he was the best thing that came out of that union.
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